DNMB

Community.

The Clam — Sat, 19 May 2012 20:02:03 GMT

I don't know why we're not talking about this show all the damn time.

So for those who aren't in the know, Community is a show that stars some fairly talented people and has the balls to do things no other prime time network will even touch. While the show's third season wasn't the most consistent, it gave us an 8-bit themed episode, and a crazy holodeck episode that deserves some respect.

Discuss.

Duel at High Noon

drax258 — Fri, 18 May 2012 04:09:48 GMT

Hey guys, for the past week I've been working on a few things, so I haven't been posting much. One of those things was a western comic. I did the script, and my friend Tony Fielding, who was bored out of his mind in Texas, did the art.

Now that it's done I see like 10 different problems with it, but it's cool to have it done.

http://imgur.com/pH3yR,8exB2,m7ZOk,ZCjC6,pJYnD,yGL7S

EDIT: A friend on Facebook improved the font!

http://imgur.com/bCu1c,RDIMB,IOJYa,tDWAe,QRSzY,21ICi

Transforming robots topic.

GalvaTRION — Fri, 11 May 2012 17:30:43 GMT

Basically, a catchall topic for robots which transform. Gao Gai Gar, various zords, a few Gundams, Machine Robo, whatever.

Spurned on by the wonder and beauty of this.

IT'S OK GAIS 2012 ISN'T THE END

GalvaTRION — Fri, 11 May 2012 02:28:01 GMT

Thank GOD.

Militarism in Cinema

drax258 — Tue, 08 May 2012 06:45:49 GMT

This is getting late and this is going to be written badly, but I really need to get this out of my head, and maybe get a discussion going. It's just that... has anyone else noticed how gung ho American cinema is these days to make military movies (but not necessarily war movies), but then struggle to find a villain for them? We're getting filled up with these movies that if being in the military isn't a major element, then it's at least a motif. When I last went to the movies, I saw these three trailers in a row:

-G.I. Joe Retaliation

-Battleship

-The Dark Knight Rises

The first two are obvious, but Batman's corporation is emphasized as making military equipment, which obviously helps him out. Yeah, it's similar in the comics, but it's more "make me gadgets to fight crime." In the Nolan movies it's all streamlined and practical, with having the bat insignia on things almost as an afterthought. And Joker's re-imagined with terrorist aims, who wishes to destroy sacred concepts and beliefs in Gotham, and Bane planning to do the same, but on a much more physical and destructive level.

But the other two are just about the military (not even characters, really, the military) about taking down made up forces that don't exist and stand for nothing. I tried not to expose myself to the Battleship trailer, but it was right there on the screen and the content content there is just shocking. It doesn't try to explain the aliens, what some of the human characters want (beyond killing aliens I guess?), it was nothing BUT explosions and the Navy firing at said aliens.

And keep in mind, all these trailers were put on before the Avengers movie, which was about superheroes banding together to fight the forces of evil, but also served under an international (but mostly American) government agency, SHIELD. And yeah, I know the comics have been like that recently, especially with Ultimate comics, but that's kind of my point; this shit has been going on for a while. It's been going on with Michael Bay's Transformers, where determined grunts are just as capable of taking out bloody-thirsty giant robots as the nice robots. It's been going on with the Call of Duty games that play with terrorist bad guys in the beginning, but then quickly transition to picking on Russia or maybe a dick-ass American general. And a million other examples.

My question is... why? What does this stuff represent? What is it doing for us? What do we get out of blowing up Moscow in Warren Ellis's G.I. JOE cartoon, or blowing it up again in Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, only to discover in both instances it was a non-national group that made America and Russia kick each other in the balls for a bit? This is all linked to 9/11 and the War on Terror, obviously, but I'm going to try to dig a bit deeper here.

1. We want to be proud of our country, but we're trying not to be dicks to Muslims.

I seriously believe that on some level, American writers and directors are trying not to repeat the propaganda mistakes of the past and purposely dehumanize Muslims in media, or at least not in the carte blanche style like when Bugs Bunny made fun of Japs or whatever. Even in the early days of 9/11, the entertainments outlets were pretty restrained in making sure to hate terrorism and not Muhammad across the street. It certainly hasn't been perfect, and the decision probably isn't even all that altruistic; it most likely boils down to the fact that no studio wants a defamation league on their hides, or the press that would come from a movie that involved soldiers killing massive amounts of brown people.

That still doesn't stop average Muslims getting an undue amount of shit every day, but I do think there's been some real care to take a more nuanced, or more likely avoidant, perspective to the War on Terror.

2. Al Queda doesn't make for good enemies anyway

A couple reasons, most are pretty obvious. What city is Al Queda headquarters? What uniforms does Al Queda have? Osama was a pretty shitty Big Bad given his dialysis machine and his whiny Youtube videos, but with him gone, who is there to really focus on? Beyond an extremist doctrine and a hatred of America, there's nothing really special about these guys. Most of the deaths of U.S. soldiers don't even come from gun fights out in the field. From Oct. 7, 2001, through Aug. 1, 2009, explosive devices caused 25,353 casualties in the American ranks. Gunshot injuries caused 4,102 casualties for both war fronts. Al Queda members are the dickhead redneck neighbors that are too cowardly to fight you, but will slash your tires at night and then brag about it to their friends at the bar. They are both too alien and too mundane to be good enemies.

And honestly, even if we made a movie where the all the bad guys were super bad-ass muslims, we'd come off as bullies. Most people understand that Al Queda is small and composed of a lot of ignorant, angry, dudes, so beating them in a standard action movie isn't really that great of an accomplishment. If you'd did make that movie, you'd have to play up the fanaticism, the kidnappings, and the car bombs to make the terrorist organizations to be a threat, but see #1.

3. Jingoistic Blue Balls

I haven't done any surveys here, but a lot of people I've talked to that have family being deployed still think the reasons we're there are sketchy at best. This isn't even on a Vietnam level, where there we were at least saying "fuck off" to the USSR back when we treated the Earth like a Risk board game. We just know that the war on terror is being fought against insurgents and terrorists, and we're done when the president says it's done. Even with all these gray areas, we still want to be proud of our military. We want to be proud of our country's power and morals, but when we try to put those things on the screen, we have to be mindful of #1 and #2.

So that's why we get aliens and robots. And terrorists that are colorful, or broadly defined. Or the reveal that it was an American businessman the whole time. Because they are safe, simple, enemies that require total destruction with zero sympathy. It's hollow, but it works.

4. Helps distract us from all the shit going on in our country and abroad

This is pretty similar to #3, but it's more inward. Our country is going through a lot of economic turmoil, and it feels like our government lets us down in new ways every day. But the military, barring some stories of gross misconduct every couple of months, has the privilege of being the nation's heroes, the institution you can support and no one will have the balls to fight you on. Because they protect you in your sleep and are fighting in awful deserts while you work at Costco, so shut the fuck up and clap.

And I don't want to disparage the U.S. military, but we're putting servicemen and women on a pedestal that even they are uncomfortable with. The military isn't some kind of superhero machine that fights for the consitution; it's a needed protection service composed of people. Deifying it in movies makes the reality of it seem mundane and best and manipulative at worst.

5. It's... it's not like we miss having you as a nemesis, Russia, you BAKA!

Hey, Act of Valor was another one of those celebration of the military movies recently, wasn't it? It even had real Navy SEALS in it! Here's an opening paragaph of its plot summary:

Quote:

In the Philippines, a terrorist kills the American ambassador, his son, and dozens of children, using a vehicle-borne improvised explosive device at a private school. The mastermind, a Chechen terrorist named Abu Shabal, escapes and returns to Russia.

In two sentences, this movie just hit a trifecta of military movie motifs. A) The NOT ARAB-LOOKING terrorist does something horrifically awful B) It takes place in a culturally neutral, but stereotypically corrupt country and C) we deal with Russia in some manner.

Now to be fair, Shabal is a muslim extremist that wishes to create a jihad on the United States, but he's also white so it evens out. But for some reason, we seem to culturally poke Russia a good bit in our movies and tv shows these days. I think it's because we're kind of like that bitchy rich girl in high school that fought all the time with the other bitchy rich girl, but when the latter mellows out and isn't interested in fighting anymore, we start to question our own emptiness and silently hate that bitch for having a breakdown and just smoking pot all day. Maybe we'll fight with that anemic girl that has the funny accent that no one likes anyway, but it just isn't the same. Does this analogy work? I don't know, fuck off, it's getting late. All I'm saying is that James Bond was reduced to fighting media moguls in 1997 and has never really recovered from that. I guess the recent Indiana Jones movie should be mentioned here as well but I think the less said about that one the better.

----------------------

But after all those reasons, what does all this military reverence in cinema add up to? I'm really not sure. I'm fairly certain it's reflecting our desire to believe in the military in uncertain times, but movies often reinforce a cultural agenda as well. I'm not pointing fingers at any sort of clandestine groups, it just happens over time, that's all. The first thing that comes to my mind is that they are pretty shitty stories. And that's kind of odd to me, because there's tons of war movies out there that are great, like Band of Brothers or We Were Soldiers. Fuck, Independence Day blows Battleship and Transformers apart in the character department. As cliched and corny as that movie was, that movie was still about PEOPLE from all walks of life coming together to fight an overwhelming menace, and the military was just one function, one tool of that idea. Jeff Goldblum and his stereotype of a father weren't in any military branch, but he and Will Smith managed to upload a stupid fucking virus into the alien hivemind. And a crazy crop duster guy blew up another ship through his sacrifice. This new wave of movies either makes the human part of that equation lesser or as an obstacle to bypass, and that's pretty scary to me.

One thing that scares me is that it reinforces the narrative of military thinking, that all big problem have simple answers that can be solved by people with enough grit to do the job. Keep in mind that this is the narrative of military thinking and not the real thing, since any officer will tell you the myriad of variables that come into place in any operation. But movies like these make public speakers with simple, strong rhetoric much easier to listen to, even if their ideas are awful. Cinema with simple solutions of strength make us question the world less.

It also creates an unhealthy habit of not questioning the military. The more heroic and infallible the military is in our movies, the worse it is for people to criticize broad and or specific issues with armed policy. It makes not "supporting the troops" a social suicide in a lot of circles. And by proxy, it makes us question the ones in charge of the armed forces less so.

I don't have a good ending here, no great analysis, summary, or "solution." I just can't help but think ten years down the line we're going to look at these movies with an uncomfortable wince, like we'll know there was something ugly and brash in them, but we can't quite articulate it. Maybe we'll see it as a war hazed dream like how the 80s were with greed and rebellion, or maybe we'll just see them as more of the same movies that are still being made at that time. I'm kind of hoping it will be the former.

Top 10 comic book movies, redux

GalvaTRION — Thu, 03 May 2012 09:50:08 GMT

There was a previous topic about this. That was a couple of years ago, however, and between then and now approximately 50,000 new comic book movies have been released. Most of them were pretty mediocre. Yet, some have become classics.

This was spurned on again because, like last time, the learned professors at Newsarama have produced yet another retarded list.

Like last time, their list suffers from not being clear about their criteria- are they including foreign or animated films? If not, then fucking why? Are they only doing super hero films? And if so, why is Scott Pilgrim on your godamned list and Super isn't? They throw in movies they call 'groundbreaking' and then mix them up with their own favorites. Yes, X2 was a big hit and was a real treat at the time. But watch that movie again and compare it against what else has come since- it doesn't hold up.

Like last time, I ask: Do your own lists. First is what you consider the '10 best'- meaning objectively as a piece of filmmaking or art. Then, '10 most important,' meaning the ones that were important milestones in comic book movies. Then, your own favorites. Or don't do all three, just try and stick to some kind of set of criteria when you make one (like, are you only considering only superheroes or are you including foreign films, and do non-comic book superhero movies count, whatever).

Keep in mind that I haven't seen Avengers yet. Also, let's just get this out of the way- there should be a waiting period for this sort of thing. At least as long as it takes to get to home video, so that one can take a film in a few times, have a little while to mentally digest rather than going on first impressions (like say, the first bite of a Taco Bell anything is always awesome fresh out of the fryalator. But you let that meal sit in the bag a little while... ).

Best Comic Adaptations (artistically speaking)

10. The Dark Knight- This usually gets the top spot of 'best of' comic book movies lists, but the hyperbole surrounding this film is crazed. It isn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination. There are plot holes (how the fuck does Joker magically get thousands of pounds worth of high explosives past security in any number of different locations when the city is a pussyhair away from declaring martial law?). There are leaps in logic that defy the attempt to make a perfectly serious Batman film. Bale's Batman voice is still hilarious. However- there's enough greatness to edge it into the top ten. The opening heist scene is unlike anything else in comic book film making- you'd swear you're watching a Michael Mann joint. Heath Ledger's Joker is beyond iconic- he's genuinely funny, smart, and creepy in a way that was never managed in any other iteration. The music is fantastic- becoming yet another integral piece in the Batman cannon- no small feat considering how much great music has been created for Bats. The cinematography is gorgeous, there's a fine mix of seasoned character actors, the story is engrossing, and the morality of the film is so questionable that one could debate its true meaning forever.

9. Iron Man- It's hampered by a script that doesn't feel 100% finished, but everything else is strong enough to overcome that handicap. John Favereau managed to make a movie that created a new tone in comic book films- it goes into some very dark places and has an underlying message about personal responsibility and the military industrial complex, but is also fun and lighthearted enough in the right places that it isn't weighed down by the subject matter. It also tries very hard to create a patina of veritas- making the unbelievable aspects of a guy wearing super-armor feel reasonable. And obviously, Robert Downey Jr. re-defined Tony Stark, amping up the playfulness in his industrialist, whoring, drinking asshole. Which is also kind of remarkable- usually heroes are dark, brooding assholes but they're not really into vice beyond simple revenge. Tony is literally not a good person- he's a drunk, a womanizer, a man that profits off of war. And even though he becomes a more responsible person by the end, he's still a spoiled, wealthy, egotistical addict. Nice!

8. Captain America: The First Avenger- Here's a perfect example of how something old becomes fresh once enough time has elapsed. Steve Rogers is perfect. Literally a perfect example of the best type of man you can think of- respectful, smart, courageous, self-sacrificing, honest... he's a square. There's no dark past, or demons driving him- he just wants to do the right thing. His character is summed up perfectly, even better than the original creators managed to do with hundreds of issues of comic books. It is smart, and emotionally resonant, and the only real flaw I can think of is that they didn't decide to put the Cap-waking-up-in-present-day scene at the end of the credits, and that there weren't enough fully-realized action sequences.

7. Batman Returns- I've bitched about this movie before, and I can barely count it as a Batman movie. But in retrospect, that's what's great about it. Tim Burton didn't even want to make the 1989 Batman film and that was a major reason it isn't very solid- by 1992, Burton had proven himself as a commercial success and was given something close to complete free reign. His artistic tics are in full swing- swirls, deep dank black color schemes, absurd threats (penguins... with rocket launchers...), psychosexual weirdness, emotional cripples, and character actors galore. He had no fucks left to give, a generous budget, and special effects that could finally blend everything together properly. It is unfettered madness- like a great Elseworlds version of Batman put to the screen. And top it off with the fact that it was aimed squarely at kids and mainstream audiences when it is clearly and totally not at all for either of those things.

6. Kick-Ass- Comic books have become an endless string of meta-commentary and deconstructionism. Trying to do 'real' superheroes tends to just mean 'darker' or 'like Batman but kills people because real superheroes would be crazy.' Here we have a movie that manages to completely switch its tone- in the beginning, it is a very real look at what it would be like to try and put on a costume to fight crime. But it smartly wiggles its way into giving us the fantasy that we all hope to achieve should any of us decide to take up costumed adventuring. The characters are funny and well-rounded, the nods to comic book history are smart, the action is beautifully brutal, and Nicholas Cage gives one of his rare 'great' performances. It's not often we get R rated adaptations of R rated comics, but this one delivers.

5. Spider-Man 2- I consider this a re-make of the first Spider-Man. It's basically the same movie, but it improves and refines the formula. Excellent dialog, strong storytelling and direction, very good actors, some fantastic action and special effects sequences... it perfectly balances what one should expect from a great mainstream comics adaptation.

4. Akira- Possibly the best anime ever produced, one of the best animated movies of all time, and one hell of an adaptation. Usually when you produce a sci fi flick that riffs or references Kubric or Ridley Scott, they turn out to be barely watchable art garbage or shitty fanboy homage used to glaze over a half-baked premise. Yet here, Katsuhiro Otomo manages to pull off the same sort of not-obvious-on-the-face ending that 2001: A Space Odyssey got away with. Which is doubly incredible when you consider that anime already has an awfulness handicap- meaning that most anime fans are fans in spite of the awful writing, movement, and horrible sexism/racism/xenophobia/whatever.

3. American Splendor- Harvey Pekar was a great storyteller. He took the mundane aspects of life that most people try to forget, and magnified them by overthinking the bizarre pointlessness of it all- occasionally pulling from that bizarre pointlessness important insights about himself. It artfully weaves interviews with the real Pekar into adapted moments from his books, and has a fantastic cast of ugly (i.e. normal looking) people.

2. Persepolis- I love this movie unreservedly. It beautifully adapts the comic book from Marjane Satrapi in hand-drawn animation that recalls the work of Ub Iwerks. It is funny, and touching, and incredibly sad. It's everything you'd never expect from a movie based on a comic book, or a movie about the sort of content you'd usually find in a Lifetime joint. This is a flawless.

1. Scott Pilgrim vs The World- this comes damn close to creating a new style of filmmaking. It moves forward the language of cinema for the over-saturated information age generation. It melts the whole of modern pop culture into a manic kung-fu musical videogame coming of age gestalt monster. It quite possibly defines the current generation in the same way that Easy Rider or Rebel without a Cause did. It's not just an important or great comic book film- it's an great/important film, period.

Admittedly, I haven't seen all of Ghost World, so I don't know how that one would place. I almost put in X-Men: First Class, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Hellboy, and Batman: Mask of the Phantasm.

Other 'top ten' lists soon.

My Life Has Soared to New Heights

drax258 — Tue, 01 May 2012 22:59:27 GMT

That's right, people. I have created a 4chan meme. I am deliriously happy right now.
Okay, let me try to break it down in chronological order.

1. A tumblr page called Busty Girl Comics is made. It's done by a female artist who shows how busty women deal with daily annoyances in a non-sexualised manner.

2. Her comics get shared on 4chan's /co/. Since /co/ isn't awful like /b/ and /v/, they are overall just appreciated with light jokes about how hawt they are.

3. In that thread I post this sketch I made with my Paper app on the iPad. People find it hilarious.

4. I make a thread a few nights ago where I sketch out some bullshit comics because I'm bored and I want attention. In the first image, I repost my original Big Dick Problems image. /co/ asks for more Big Dick Problems comics, and I oblige.

5. In the same thread, Big Dick Guy and "Oh Jeez" become a hit, with others joining in. It gets archived, but probably not permanently.

6. New threads are made, and one is even ARCHIVED AGAIN. My original comics are re-posted and are given credit as starting the trend.

7. A motherfucking TUMBLR-FAN PAGE page by someone to continue the zeitgeist! Full circle, baby.

Life is pretty great you guys.

Tron Uprising

GalvaTRION — Tue, 01 May 2012 17:55:24 GMT

Well shit, I'm sold.

Adam Sessler leaving G4

Joe — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 16:03:08 GMT

Wow. I'm sure most, if not all, of us here don't watch X-Play or G4 but I still have good memories when it was Extended Play and Gamespot TV and I was surprised when I saw this.

The Avengers

Gafgarion — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 08:16:17 GMT

It was fucking awesome. Nothing was bad. Everything was good.

Spider-Man 5

GalvaTRION — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 21:00:57 GMT

Is there ANY genre property that Orci and Kurtzman won't stick their grimy little dicks into? I'm barely interested in the new Spider-Man movie, but if those two are working on the sequel? FFfffff...

Best theme songs

GalvaTRION — Sun, 22 Apr 2012 06:18:08 GMT

Post em.

My brother noted that mad scientists from the 80s all had the same hair. Dr. Archeville, Dr. Wiley, Doc Brown. Then he asked 'what was that mad scientist show that was in the opening ads for the old TMNT cartoon tapes?' To which I replied 'Mad Scientist.'

I can't believe that I had completely forgotten that show. One thing I didn't forget? How fucking awesome the theme song was. Most pop culture from that time period has been thoroughly mined and re-packaged, yet this one managed to stay buried for the most part.

Thank you, internet.

It's almost Oingo Boingo-esque.